TC the Terrible

Thanks to all of you guys from Homeland Security, DEA, Navy Network Information Center, The Brookings Institute, Pew Charitable Trust, those two blocked IPs from DC and The Executive Office Of The President USA for dropping by. If I need to pull a D.B. Cooper and jump from the plane now, let me know. I’d like to at least think that I had a chance to get away.

The cynical answer here is “not a God Damned thing”.  Granted, this place is a Hell hole but it’s not all that bad.  I’ve had a 10’ x 10’ room to myself with my own mini-fridge and cable (sort of) TV.  My laundry was free, all my meals were free, bottled water was free, I had a Chevy Trail Blazer for me and my guys to drive – free, the gas for the truck was free.  The Internet was dial up speed and broad band pricing but until the last couple of days it worked pretty damned well.

So here’s some of the stuff I’m going to miss.

• My guys. Best. Team. Ever.  I’ve been in this business for 22 years and the  only team that comes close to this one is my first commo section.  These guys covered up for my lack of experience with modern communications equipment and gave me the breathing room I needed to get my head back in the game.
• Early Morning Sports. Everything on Armed Forces Network is tape delayed except the news and sports.  News isn’t a big deal, but it is weird as Hell to wake up in the morning to watch baseball.
• Free PPVs. All the UFC and WWE pay per views are free.  They play live (five in the morning on Sundays if you want to wake up for it) and tape delayed at 1900 Tuesday.  Good stuff.
• Rip It Energy drinks. These things kick Red Bull’s ass all day and twice on Sundays.  It’s only sold in four locations in the DC area.  That sucks.  It also sucks that you can only get 16 oz cans stateside.  Here we got the 8 oz version which is a much better size for slamming on the way out  the door in the mornings.
• Free food. Yeah, KBR has done a suck ass job lately in the chow hall but there was always something worth eating on the menu.  And ice cream for desert.
• Smoking in my room. THE WOMAN won’t let me smoke in the house so I took advantage of it over here.  Technically the Army doesn’t  let us smoke in our rooms either.  But once you take the battery out of the smoke alarm nobody notices.
• Green Beans Coffee. The military version of Star-fucking-bucks is cheaper, tastes better and there are no hippies with questionable hygiene making your coffee.  They have a great program called Cup of Joe for a Joe that lets you send a random Soldier a free cup of coffee.  Strange as it may sound to you sitting there on your couch a cup of coffee is a great gift even in this blistering heat.
• Boogers and Hajis.  The Boogers are the Third Country Nationals that do all the crap duties around here.  Stuff like checking IDs at the PX and the chow  hall.  Or cleaning out the Port-a-Shitters.  Say “hello” to them, or treat them like they are human and they will bust their butts for you.  Hajis are the Iraqis here on base trying to “earn a living”.  Which means they are lying, cheating and stealing 24/7/365.  Don’t let the manners and broken English fool you, these people see Soldiers as cash cows and nothing else.

That’s about  it.  Not a lot else has been good about this place.

TC

For you civilians in the crowd the title of this post means I’m going to lose contact with the rest of the world on purpose. I’m moving across the battle space and won’t have connectivity for a while. I’ve got a couple of automated posts lined up to keep your attention while I’m on the move. Once I get settled in again I’ll let you know.

Until then; keep your powder dry, your cables straight and I’ll be waiting for you on the high ground.

TC