TC the Terrible

It’s a question that came up in conversation this week. Of course I knew the answer.

It’s  simple:  mix a drink, yell at Peggy/Pete, take a nap on his office couch, go bang out some random then head  home to play the dutiful father.  Or so it seems on the surface. What he’s really doing is being true to who he is. He knows that he’s not a good guy. He knows his life is a lie. He knows that he’s going to lie to somebody today. He is going to climb in bed with somebody that he shouldn’t and he knows that.

He’s good with that.

Draper’s a guy that we don’t see today. He’s going to say the right things to make money, but only up to a point. When he gets tired of putting up with the crap he tells people to step the fuck off. Don Draper is the poor man’s Henry Rearden.  You’re going to have to Google that one on your own as I am too lazy to embed the link. And we damn sure don’t have the time for me to explain Atlas Shrugged to you today.

We’ve bred guys like him out of our culture. American men don’t stand up for crap today that doesn’t put dollars in the bank account. It’s why we can’t get a fucking politician to man up on the national debt, or unemployment, or government intrusion into our private lives. It’s why you people look at me like I’ve got a dick growing out of my forehead when I tell them to take their hats off for the National Anthem at the Nationals game.

Don Draper does what Don Draper wants and the rest of us are lemmings running of the edge of societal  cliffs. We envy his independence and marvel at his confidence. And then take delight in his tribulations. Seeing those times as proof that Draper is the facade he created for himself. But the valleys never last long for Draper, as he seizes the slightest opportunity to turn pig ears to purses.  Like he once told Peggy, “If you don’t like what’s being said, change the conversation”.

That’s it in a nutshell. He would do whatever he to do and not give a flying fuck who didn’t like it. It’s why we watch him.

So what would Don Draper do? He’d order a Manhattan, light a smoke, tell you to quit reading some hack’s blog and go make the world what you want it to be. Now get out of here and move forward. This never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened.

There’s a couple of things that I really enjoy – sex with my wife, whisky (without the ‘e’), sex with my wife and cigars.  In that order.  Naturally the goody two shoes that know oh so much more about how I should live think that none of that is good for me.

So far they haven’t found a way to keep me from having sex with my wife, but they are trying like Hell to take the other two away from me.  Which is why I’ve joined Cigar Rights of America.  These guys are on the front lines of the battle to let me choose to enjoy my life.

Across the nation there are more and more groups trying to define our lives for us.  CRA, like many of you, feel like people can do a better job of that than the government.  If you smoke cigars I highly suggest you join up today.  It’s money well spent.

TC

You all know that I am basically a fair minded and tolerant person.  Because of that I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against a mosque being built near Ground Zero. I think it should be the goal of every American to be tolerant.  The mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose , that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque thereby promoting tolerance within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs (which would be gay) “The Turban Cowboy” and the other being a topless bar “You Mecca Me Hot”.    Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork and adjacent to that, have an open barbequed pork rib restaurant, called something like “Iraq o’ Ribs”?   Across the street there could be a very daring lingerie store called Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods.
Next door to the lingerie shop, there would be room for an Adult Toy Shop (Koranal Knowledge), its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side a liquor store, maybe call it “Morehammered”?

Then the Muslims could be allowed to show their tolerance. Problem solved