TC the Terrible

Another problem with our schools today is how they deal with bullies; because they essentially don’t deal with it. The standard response to school these days is go tell a teacher. In fact at my son’s school they are teaching kids to “Stop, Walk, Talk”.  The plan is tell the bully to stop being mean to you, walk away from the bully, and then go tell a teacher. The school is asking the kids to buy/wear pink t-shirts to show their support of not being screwed with.

Good luck with that. I know my guy’s not going to wear a pink shirt around his buddies. That’s his choice by the way, not mine.

Before you can deal with bullies you have to understand who they are. Bullies are weak kids/people that know they are weak. Shoving people around is the only way they can feel good about themselves. Here’s the downside to that. If your kid is being picked on it’s because they are even weaker than the bully. A bully won’t pick on someone that’s their equal or someone that’s better than they are. So if your kid is being fucked with, you raised a weak kid.

You need to work on your own kid to give them some back bone. How you do that is your deal to figure out. A lot of parents get the kids involved in martial arts. That’s a good start. Team contact sports like football, hockey, lacrosse, etc are a good way to build up a young boy’s self esteem. If you choose team sports make sure to NOT pick the one that gives every kid that signs up a trophy for showing up. That just teaches your kid that it’s okay to be a loser. Not exactly the kind of life lesson that gets your kid out of the basement before he turns 30.

And if your kid is getting touched by the bully – for God’s sake tell your kid to hit them back. And tell your kid to not stop hitting the bully until the teacher shows up and pulls them off the bully. Even if your kid gets his ass handed back to him, the bully will know your kid is no wimp. As I said above, bullies are weak kids that can’t stand a fair fight. If you kid puts up a decent fight, and doesn’t back down, the bully will move on to another weak kid.

It’s a hard line approach, but it’s one that works. It worked for me when I was the kid getting picked on back in middle school. Yeah, I got knocked on my ass a few times. Even had a bloody nose at recess. At the end of the day the bullies (and there were quite a few) left me alone.

The schools today talk about empowering your kids, but they are doing the opposite. They are teaching our kids the best way to handle a problem is to get someone else to fix it. Running to tattle will only cause more problems for the kid being picked on. The bulling will get worse. Their current friends will begin to be less involved as they realize they are being dragged into more bullying themselves because of their choice of friends. This is not a good cycle for your son to be in. It will only make him weaker.

Does the weak guy in your office ever get promoted? Does the weak guy ever get paired with the quality women? Does the weak guy ever have anything go right for him? Of course not – to all three questions. The weak guy gets stepped on, abused and forgotten about throughout his adult life. He never seems to get ahead in life no matter how many people say they like him. Do you want that for your son?

Then why are we letting schools teach our kids to be weak?

If you are going to be a man, you have to know how to cook over fire. Cooking over fire means at some point you have to know how to cook ribs. So I’m here to teach your sorry ass how to do just that.

Ribs are simple, but easy to fuck up.  I’ve attached a picture of my grill to help you understand my instructions. The fire box is the smaller one on the left, the cooking area is on the right.

Ribs on Saturday start on Friday. You’ll need a good dry rub. I get mine from this place in the Memphis ghetto. Call them, they won’t send you any, but they’re great people to talk to. Anyway. Friday afternoon you need to buy St. Louis ribs at Costco or a butcher shop. Don’t get the smaller baby back ribs. They’ll dry out doing it my way. Apply tons of dry rub on Friday night to both sides of the ribs. Put them on a cookie sheet and shove them in the fridge.

Next, soak hickory chunks in water overnight. Don’t use the chips as they don’t produce much smoke and burn hot. The smoke is where a big part of your flavor will come from.

Also, you need to buy beer Friday night.

Early – I mean early – Saturday morning wake up and get the fire going in the firebox. To have ribs ready at six pm you start the fire at five am. I use the chunk charcoal instead of briquettes. It burns easier and will hold temperature much better. Let the flames die down and the charcoal start to ash up before you close the box.

Before you close the firebox throw a couple of those wet hickory blocks on the coals. They will start smoking soon. Go inside and take the ribs out of the fridge. You’ll want them to get up to something near room temperature. When the heat in the cooking area gets around 225 degrees you’re ready to get started.

Drink a beer.

Put the ribs on the racks in the cooking area while you’re having that beer. Put the fat side down and shut the lid. Finish your beer before you go back in. Cook yourself some breakfast and leave the dishes in the sink. You’re cooking ribs and can’t do everything around the house today.

Have another beer. Putz around in the yard/garage for a bit. Check the temperature on the gauge. If it’s starting to drop, and it might after you the meat, add some more coals and hickory. It’s important to keep lots of smoke going early in the process. The meat absorbs when it’s first on the grill. Also pisses off the neighbors that you didn’t invite over to eat tonight.  Be careful to  keep the heat down to less than 250 degrees for the whole process.

Have a beer.

Check the temperature again. You’ll need to do this at least once an hour, or every time you’re asked to do something around the house.

Don’t check the meat often. It’ll dry out. Don’t flip the ribs until they are sweating like a whore in church on top. Flip them when they’re ready.

Have a beer. Check the heat. Add some hickory.

Mow the yard, but don’t forget to check the temperature in the cooking area.

Have a beer.  Go inside and bitch about something trivial. Then ask if she can smell the ribs. Fill a chest with ice and beer. Take it outside.

Have a beer.

Keep this pattern up for about eight to nine hours. By then you should have flipped the ribs four, maybe five times. You’ll have added fuel to the fire a few times as well. Main thing is to keep the heat consistent and keep everyone else away. Keep drinking beer.

The ribs are done when you can lift the middle bone with your finger and the meat falls freely from the bone. Pull them from the cooker and let them rest for at least half a fresh beer.

Have a couple of the end ribs in peace out on the deck. Finish your beer.

Take the ribs in and accept the praise from family and friends.

If you need help with any of this call me. I’ll come over and drink your beer.

It’s a question that came up in conversation this week. Of course I knew the answer.

It’s  simple:  mix a drink, yell at Peggy/Pete, take a nap on his office couch, go bang out some random then head  home to play the dutiful father.  Or so it seems on the surface. What he’s really doing is being true to who he is. He knows that he’s not a good guy. He knows his life is a lie. He knows that he’s going to lie to somebody today. He is going to climb in bed with somebody that he shouldn’t and he knows that.

He’s good with that.

Draper’s a guy that we don’t see today. He’s going to say the right things to make money, but only up to a point. When he gets tired of putting up with the crap he tells people to step the fuck off. Don Draper is the poor man’s Henry Rearden.  You’re going to have to Google that one on your own as I am too lazy to embed the link. And we damn sure don’t have the time for me to explain Atlas Shrugged to you today.

We’ve bred guys like him out of our culture. American men don’t stand up for crap today that doesn’t put dollars in the bank account. It’s why we can’t get a fucking politician to man up on the national debt, or unemployment, or government intrusion into our private lives. It’s why you people look at me like I’ve got a dick growing out of my forehead when I tell them to take their hats off for the National Anthem at the Nationals game.

Don Draper does what Don Draper wants and the rest of us are lemmings running of the edge of societal  cliffs. We envy his independence and marvel at his confidence. And then take delight in his tribulations. Seeing those times as proof that Draper is the facade he created for himself. But the valleys never last long for Draper, as he seizes the slightest opportunity to turn pig ears to purses.  Like he once told Peggy, “If you don’t like what’s being said, change the conversation”.

That’s it in a nutshell. He would do whatever he to do and not give a flying fuck who didn’t like it. It’s why we watch him.

So what would Don Draper do? He’d order a Manhattan, light a smoke, tell you to quit reading some hack’s blog and go make the world what you want it to be. Now get out of here and move forward. This never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened.