TC the Terrible

Last weekend THE WOMAN decided it was a pretty day, so what the Hell.  Might as well grill some burgers for the kids dinner.  So she piled the charcoal in the bottom of my ultra-deluxe manly grill, added a half gallon or so of lighter fluid, hit it with a torch and went back inside while the inferno raged.

Nice day that it was, she opened the kitchen window to let the smell of the grill fill the house.  Of course while she was outside trying to  decide if it’s time to flip the meat the kitchen was filling up with that great smell of searing meat.  Filling up so much that the security system decided that the  kids might be in danger and notified the local fire department. 

Naturally the eight fire men and two hose trucks made quite a scene in our ever so quiet cul de’ sac.  Yeah, I know it is only a cove, but for the price we paid it should be a cul de’ sac.  Anyway.  The fire dudes were less impressive than the ones found on those cheesy calendars (ours are volunteer fire dudes naturally) and all of them had some type of advice on how to not fill the house with smoke while cooking four hamburgers.

I tell you that, so you will understand this.

After the fire men left and the burnt burgers were tossed to the dog the day finally hit THE WOMAN.  She sat down in our reading room and cried her eyes out.  While she was sitting there on the three person ottoman feeling like a failure, THE BOY stepped his ass up big time.

He lifted her face in both of his hands and told her; “You are doing a great job with the house all by yourself.  Me and Dad think you are beautiful.  And we’re the only two men that matter.”

Things like that make me know that he’s going to be okay.  And so will she.

The big race was today, and alas all did not go as planned. 

THE BOY got off to a brilliant start as he placed first and second in the first two heats.  From there it was down hill.  He finished third and forth in the final two heats.  Pissed does not begin to describe how he felt.  It was much deeper than that.

He acted out a bit on the way home.  Fortunately (for him) he didn’t take it out on his mother.  Instead he took it out on the Army.  THE WOMAN told me his entire tirade was about how evil the Army is for not letting me be there today.  All they had to do it seems was to let me come home today and he would have been a winner.

Guess that’s his way of saying that he needs me.

As sappy as it sounds, I miss the Pinewood Derby.  One of the highlights of my year is helping THE BOY build his Pinewood Derby car for Cub Scouts.  This is the second year in a row that I’m missing that event. 

Yeah, I helped him cut the car out and pour the melted weights into it.  But we didn’t get a chance to paint it, or put on the wheels.  And any fool can tell you that getting the wheels right is the biggest issue when building a quality Pinewood Derby racer.

But it might work out after all.  This time last year we got the car built before I pushed out to Saudi, but the wheels were all jacked up.  One of the other dads helped out and got his wheels right the night before the race.  And he went all the way to District with that car – finishing one spot out of qualifying for state.  His best car ever.

Let’s hope he can repeat that performance again.

Saber Squelch Out.