TC the Terrible NOW Saber Squelch

By the time you read this I’ll be less than 24 hours from the arms of THE WOMAN.

If things have moved forward according plan I’ve completed 95% of my out processing paper work and am getting ready to get on the last bus home.  There’s one more stop ahead of me, then a final bus ride back to the Knoxville armory where my bride awaits me.  We’re going to take two or three days to get back to DC.

The Army has instructed me to take it slow integrating back into my regular life.  The number of Solider suicides has shot up in recent years and nobody really understands why.  It’s more than just PTSD because there’s no pattern that says troops  in intense combat have a higher suicide rate than those that have never fired a shot in anger.  I can only hope that someone smarter than me figures it out – and soon.

For me, I intend to start by getting to know my wife again.  In the Biblical sense for sure, but also to understand how she’s been changed by not having me around everyday.  I’ve changed too,  but I can’t see it since it’s been a slow thing and I’ve been around it as it happened.  After that I’ll spend some time with the kids learning how they’ve changed this  past year.

Our  only real plans call for a week at the beach doing nothing.  THE BOY wants to spend a full day in bed eating popcorn and watching Family Guy.  That sounds like a plan to me.

TC

The cynical answer here is “not a God Damned thing”.  Granted, this place is a Hell hole but it’s not all that bad.  I’ve had a 10’ x 10’ room to myself with my own mini-fridge and cable (sort of) TV.  My laundry was free, all my meals were free, bottled water was free, I had a Chevy Trail Blazer for me and my guys to drive – free, the gas for the truck was free.  The Internet was dial up speed and broad band pricing but until the last couple of days it worked pretty damned well.

So here’s some of the stuff I’m going to miss.

• My guys. Best. Team. Ever.  I’ve been in this business for 22 years and the  only team that comes close to this one is my first commo section.  These guys covered up for my lack of experience with modern communications equipment and gave me the breathing room I needed to get my head back in the game.
• Early Morning Sports. Everything on Armed Forces Network is tape delayed except the news and sports.  News isn’t a big deal, but it is weird as Hell to wake up in the morning to watch baseball.
• Free PPVs. All the UFC and WWE pay per views are free.  They play live (five in the morning on Sundays if you want to wake up for it) and tape delayed at 1900 Tuesday.  Good stuff.
• Rip It Energy drinks. These things kick Red Bull’s ass all day and twice on Sundays.  It’s only sold in four locations in the DC area.  That sucks.  It also sucks that you can only get 16 oz cans stateside.  Here we got the 8 oz version which is a much better size for slamming on the way out  the door in the mornings.
• Free food. Yeah, KBR has done a suck ass job lately in the chow hall but there was always something worth eating on the menu.  And ice cream for desert.
• Smoking in my room. THE WOMAN won’t let me smoke in the house so I took advantage of it over here.  Technically the Army doesn’t  let us smoke in our rooms either.  But once you take the battery out of the smoke alarm nobody notices.
• Green Beans Coffee. The military version of Star-fucking-bucks is cheaper, tastes better and there are no hippies with questionable hygiene making your coffee.  They have a great program called Cup of Joe for a Joe that lets you send a random Soldier a free cup of coffee.  Strange as it may sound to you sitting there on your couch a cup of coffee is a great gift even in this blistering heat.
• Boogers and Hajis.  The Boogers are the Third Country Nationals that do all the crap duties around here.  Stuff like checking IDs at the PX and the chow  hall.  Or cleaning out the Port-a-Shitters.  Say “hello” to them, or treat them like they are human and they will bust their butts for you.  Hajis are the Iraqis here on base trying to “earn a living”.  Which means they are lying, cheating and stealing 24/7/365.  Don’t let the manners and broken English fool you, these people see Soldiers as cash cows and nothing else.

That’s about  it.  Not a lot else has been good about this place.

TC

Google Mail just notified me that my e-mail account had recently been accessed from Iraq.  No shit Sherlock.  My e-mail account has been getting accessed from Iraq for nearly seven months and somebody just now noticed?  Good thing I don’t keep my money in Google Bank, or have a Google Visa.  No telling how long it would take them to notice that identity had been stolen.

I thought Google was supposed to know everything now.  Hell, the name of the company has turned into a verb – “Just Google it.”  But it takes them seven months to figure out that I’m checking my e-mail from a third world country.  Nice.