Another problem with our schools today is how they deal with bullies; because they essentially don’t deal with it. The standard response to school these days is go tell a teacher. In fact at my son’s school they are teaching kids to “Stop, Walk, Talk”. The plan is tell the bully to stop being mean to you, walk away from the bully, and then go tell a teacher. The school is asking the kids to buy/wear pink t-shirts to show their support of not being screwed with.
Good luck with that. I know my guy’s not going to wear a pink shirt around his buddies. That’s his choice by the way, not mine.
Before you can deal with bullies you have to understand who they are. Bullies are weak kids/people that know they are weak. Shoving people around is the only way they can feel good about themselves. Here’s the downside to that. If your kid is being picked on it’s because they are even weaker than the bully. A bully won’t pick on someone that’s their equal or someone that’s better than they are. So if your kid is being fucked with, you raised a weak kid.
You need to work on your own kid to give them some back bone. How you do that is your deal to figure out. A lot of parents get the kids involved in martial arts. That’s a good start. Team contact sports like football, hockey, lacrosse, etc are a good way to build up a young boy’s self esteem. If you choose team sports make sure to NOT pick the one that gives every kid that signs up a trophy for showing up. That just teaches your kid that it’s okay to be a loser. Not exactly the kind of life lesson that gets your kid out of the basement before he turns 30.
And if your kid is getting touched by the bully – for God’s sake tell your kid to hit them back. And tell your kid to not stop hitting the bully until the teacher shows up and pulls them off the bully. Even if your kid gets his ass handed back to him, the bully will know your kid is no wimp. As I said above, bullies are weak kids that can’t stand a fair fight. If you kid puts up a decent fight, and doesn’t back down, the bully will move on to another weak kid.
It’s a hard line approach, but it’s one that works. It worked for me when I was the kid getting picked on back in middle school. Yeah, I got knocked on my ass a few times. Even had a bloody nose at recess. At the end of the day the bullies (and there were quite a few) left me alone.
The schools today talk about empowering your kids, but they are doing the opposite. They are teaching our kids the best way to handle a problem is to get someone else to fix it. Running to tattle will only cause more problems for the kid being picked on. The bulling will get worse. Their current friends will begin to be less involved as they realize they are being dragged into more bullying themselves because of their choice of friends. This is not a good cycle for your son to be in. It will only make him weaker.
Does the weak guy in your office ever get promoted? Does the weak guy ever get paired with the quality women? Does the weak guy ever have anything go right for him? Of course not – to all three questions. The weak guy gets stepped on, abused and forgotten about throughout his adult life. He never seems to get ahead in life no matter how many people say they like him. Do you want that for your son?
Then why are we letting schools teach our kids to be weak?