All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, or so the saying goes.  So what does a week with out blogging make me?  A normal person.  At least for a while.  It also gives me the time to learn a few things.  Life lessons if you will.

  • Never give a seven year old an iPod with speakers for Christmas.  Or at least load it with decent music before you wrap it.   The 32nd (yes I counted) playing of “Baby Got Back” in two days drove me over the edge.
  • Remote control airplanes were built with Dads in mind.  Period.
  • It takes a full fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey to get through two days with my in-laws.  At one point even THE BOY asked for a Jack and Coke.
  • Boarding school for girls is a great idea.  Congress should give parents of 12 year old girls tax breaks AND vouchers to send the little wenches to boarding school.
  • THE WOMAN is the hottest female on the planet and I’m damned lucky to be married to her.  If she ever recovers from her head trauma I’m out in the cold quicker that I can say “Oh shit.”
  • The boy that wants to be my son-in-law tried to get on my good side by giving me a flask for Christmas.  I reminded him that it was empty, thus of limited worth.  Of course if he’d given it to me full I’d pounded him for buying liquor while under age.  He never gets to win.  It’s good to be the Dad.
  • The first day back after a week off sucks no matter what you do for a living.
  • “Some Assembly Required” my ass.  It takes three hours and a full tool bag to put anything together.

Despite all my rantings about Christmas I had a good time this year for the most part.  I’d like to have seen MY MOM, FDFM and SDFM – and not the step-father-in-law – but other than that things were good.  I got to sleep more than four hours a night.  The food was good, I drank more than I normally do, and the kids got a big kick out of the crap that Santa brought.