TC the Terrible

It’s that weird time of year when everything should be slowing down, but it’s not.  My Christmas shopping has been done for about a month now.  The gifts that needed to be shipped should be at their destinations by now.  All is good on that front.

The house is a bit quieter now as SDFM has gone back to Memphis for a while.  She’ll end up back in NOVA but I’m not sure exactly when.  THE WOMAN thinks March at the latest, I’m thinking that it won’t be until the summer.

Work is a pain because of all the people that I can’t find when I need them (off for the holidays) and all the work that still needs to be done.  It’s like half the office fell off the face of the Earth while the other half suddenly has urgent deadlines.

I blew off the office for a couple of days myself.  The only real work I did (besides that, and that’s too much fun to be called work) was cut out a Pinewood Derby car and go see a movie.  I AM LEGEND is a strange movie.  On the one hand it shows how great an actor Will Smith has become since his Fresh Prince days.  But on the other hand it had a very un-satisfying ending.  It was almost as if the director, while making a great movie, realized that he was almost out of money and decided to wrap up before he went bust.  A damned shame really as the movie was headed into classic territory until the final 20 minutes.

Twas the night before Christmas–Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of ‘Thanks Santa’–what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money–The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes–if that ain’t damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days–they all are the pits
They want the impossible–Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls…Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo’s–No request for them,
They want computers and robots…they think – I’m IBM!

Flying through the air…dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I’m quitting this job there’s just no enjoyment
I’ll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

There’s no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I’m going SOUTH for the season

I had thought about retiring this feature.  Then I got this beauty in my box and knew that I couldn’t not share it.