TC the Terrible NOW Saber Squelch

Today was mandatory software training at the office. Yea us. I used Out-fucking-look all day. I don’t need a three hour block of training to understand that the SEND button makes the words on the screen go from my computer to a co-worker’s computer. Yes, it was that bad.

So why the heck do I have a picture of the woman that killed the Beatles at the top of this post? Because this morning’s “teacher” was her twin sister. Not only did she look like Yoko, she talked in the same voice that Yoko uses when she “sings”.

This must be a preview of the seven circle of Hades that Dante’ wrote about.  Maybe I should start going to church again.  Or sacrifice a few small animals.

Hello boys and girls, it’s been a while.

The usual excuses all apply. Work has been hectic. I was out of town. I had to wash my hair. My project for school is over due. The server at work has me blocked. And the old favorite, “My head just hurts too bad. Can’t we do this later?”

Each of the above is true. Some more often than others. I’ve been in NY, NJ, and KS since I last posted. All work related. In fact I got back to Dulles from NJ, went to the house, dropped off one bag, picked up another, and was back at Dulles to catch my KS flight in under four hours. Nice.

I did learn a few things while I was out in that weird place called reality.

• NJ smells like ass.
• Hyatt Place hotel rocks. Yes, the rooms really are that cool. I could have stayed there another week. Except NJ smells like ass.
• Nobody ever has an extra blow job laying around that they are willing to share.
• Gay, Asian men, with blond tips on their spiked hair working at the United terminal gates are very entertaining when your flight has been delayed for the third time.
• Portland OR and Portland ME are different places. Some people do not realize this when they get on the airplane. They are pissed when they get off in ME expecting it to be OR. They are more pissed when they have to wait 48 hours to catch a flight that will get them the hell out of ME and on the way to OR.
• New Yorkers, at least on Long Island, are more openly racist towards black people than any Southern I’ve met. And I have met an ass load of good ol’ boys from the South.
• When you flight is finally ready to board after the third delay said gay man at terminal broadcasts over the loud speaker “Who wants to go to Newark today?! Get on over here before they find something else wrong with this mean old plane.” Seriously. That’s a direct quote.
• 19 year old Marines can sleep anywhere, including the floor in front of the terminal ticket counter. And people will step around them instead of waking them up.
• A woman’s vagina contains enough calcium to make a bone grow six inches.
• There are no colder dice tables than the ones in KC, KS. Never, not ever, not even once have I lost money on the dice tables. Get down a couple of bills – sure, but I always make it back before the night is over. Not last week in KC, KS. I only lost a Jackson, so no big deal. It’s just the principal of the thing.
• KS is a boring ass place to visit. Period.

That’s what I’ve been doing instead of posting. Really

I’ll leave you to make your own comments.