Protein bars have become my new Ramen Noodles. Back in the day, when I was single, Ramen Noodles were my chief source of nutrition. Granted it was not a good choice, but at a dime a pack it was something I could afford. My friends (both of them) used to rip on me for having 30 or 40 packs in my pantry on any given day. Ramen and popcorn. That was my lifestyle.

These days I’ve matured a slight bit and my food choices are now markedly better for me. I live on protein bars. They go on sale every couple of weeks at the local Safeway for a dollar each. When they do, put me down for ten. Sometimes twenty. I’ve got at least that many in my desk at the office now. The breakfast versions really don’t go that well with coffee, but it’s not about taste.

It’s about easy and cheap. (Good traits to have in both women and food.) They never go bad and they are loaded with nutrients. Granted they do your digestive tract a severe disservice, but as long as you are comfortable using the restroom at work then it’s all good. I will warn you that eating six protein bars in two days has some nasty side effects. The whole gaseous thing is made worse if you’re washing them down with diet Coke. I’m just sayin.