TC the Terrible

I understand that there are times when regular toilet paper is just not enough. Sometimes you’re sick, or that Mexican feast you inhaled comes out in a bad way, so sure. You need the extra cleaning that baby wipes provide.

But I don’t understand this.

It’s hard to tell from the picture, but the Pampers contain “calming Lavender”. I guess that’s for butt-holes that are upset by having crap come out of them. And the Clorox wipes are interesting too. The top bottle is the “sanitizing wipes” that kill 99% of all germs in 30 seconds. That’s probably a good thing, but I don’t want to keep the wipe on my ass for a full thirty seconds. Do you? The bottom bottle claims to kill flu germs and viruses. Please don’t tell me how your ass can have the flu. I really don’t want to know.

Jack Daniels and Cheese Balls. Need I say more?

Please lord, let it be Monday. I can’t handle two more days off like the ones that I just had.

• Cox Cable didn’t show for our installation on Saturday morning. They didn’t call either.
• Verizon showed up, had major problems but finally got the job done three hours later. By the way, Fios rocks. A major speed boost over DSL and cable.
• The movers were on time but the move cost me twice what I expected. Who the hell would have thought that the fucking packing supplies would cost $300 more than the labor costs? Not me that’s for damned sure.
• I missed both kids ball games.
• I blew my shoulder out.  Again.
• The gas company didn’t turn us on.  No cooking for us.

A Monday in school can only be a step upwards.