The sad thing is, this would probably get a passing grade in some public schools.

De EbonicsCrimmus Pome

Wuz de nite befo Crimmus; An’ all over de hood;
eveybody wuz’sleepin’; cus da weed was reel good.
the stockins washung on all the brothers heads;
cover that nappyhair and dose smellin dreadsAll de fambily;Wuz layin in de beds;
While Ripple andThunderbird; Dance thru’ de heads.
I passed out onthe flo; Right next to my Maw;
When I heardsech a fuss; I said oh shit “gotta be de law!!!”

I looked outthru de bars; that covered my doe;
‘spectin’ desheriff; With a warrent fo sho.
And what did Isee; I said, what the fuck is dat!!”
Ther’ wuz a hugewatermellon; and 8 giant warf rats!!

Now over all deyears; Santa Clause, he be fat;
But looks likeus bros; a fat Sanna dis nite.
Faster dan aPo’lees car; My home boy he came;
He whupped ondem warf rats, An’ called dem by name!

On Leroy, on’Lonzo; And on Willie Lee;
On Saphire, onChenequa; Dey wuz a site to see!!
As he landed datwatta’ mellon; Out der in da skreet;
I knowed it wasfo’ sho’; Da damndest shit I ever see.

He didn’t godown no chimney; He picked da’ lock on my doe;
An’ I sez tomyself; the mutha fucka done dis befoe!!!”
He had dis bigbag; full of prezents I ‘xpect;
Wid Air Jordans and KFCchikin; some wings anda neck.

But he left nogood toys; Jus started stealing my shit;
Got my drugs, got my guns, Even got my burglar’s kit!!
Wit my stuff in hisbag; Out da window he flew;
I woudda’ triedto catched him; But he stoled my ‘nife too!!

He jumped on datwadda’ mellon; An’ whipped out a switch;
He wuz gone in aseccon’; Dat son of a bitch!!
Next year I behopin’: anutha Sanna we git;
Cuz’ diz hereSanna Clause; wont worf a shit!!!

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