I was at work until nearly ten last night working out the plan for how the world will run for the next several months.  Then today when I come in I find out that the monkey boys in our IT department have fucked up the database.  Now I have to go back and re-set oil prices, civil unrest in Africa, re-schedule the release of 8 new computer viruses, and figure out what the hell I’m going to do about Tom and Katy’s next baby and if I can still pull off convincing him to let her raise it Catholic.  Which is a real bummer considering today was blocked off to create a new Social Security scare and writing the plot for Borat II the sequel.

• San Diego gets smart and bans THE CORPORATE SATAN.  This should be the start of a movement.
• Rocky finds Jesus.  Why do I feel dirty just writing that?
• Life is imitating art with Snoop Dog.  Getting busted three times in as many months has got to be a boost to his street cred.
• Jealous of all the publicity, Tracy Morgan is busted again for DWI just has it looked like he might have a career again.  Idiot.
• Bill Frist declares that being a heart surgeon is not only less stressful than being President , it pays better too.
• The economy is still growing.  Karl Rove was an total tool for not making that issue the focus of the mid-term elections.
• Britney is a ho-dog.  Well we already knew that, but now Fox News has gotten wind of her cooter flashing incident.  Expect Bill O’Reilly to go nuts on this topic very soon.

The "Automatic Chaos" button on the database isn’t going to get fixed anytime today.  Looks like I’ve actually got to get to work hand jamming this crap.  Days like this make me wish I was an accountant.  No shit.  It is that bad.