TC the Terrible

Regular readers of the blog, or at least those that aren’t hear for all the deaf bashing, know that I’m a golf fan. Actually I’m an addict of the game and if it weren’t for these damned kids needing shoes and wanting to eat my whole check would be tied up in greens fees. With Tiger Woods winning again this weekend I thought it would be a good idea to review some of the more basic rules of golf. There are 15 rules that you must not break if you want to play the game and be respected for your strong game. The list is after the jump.

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I hate Rachel Ray. Yes she’s cute, spunky and America loves her; which means she may be the next host of the worst rated news show on network television.

I hate Rachel Ray because she cost me my weekend. THE WOMAN has spent the past couple of weeks lying around the house watching Jerry Springer and FoodTV. She (THE WOMAN, not Rachel Ray) got a hair up her butt to break out the Rachel Ray cookbooks. Now I don’t have any issues with eating better, but damn it took all day Saturday to get the shopping done.

Clearly our pantry was not up to Rachel’s standards. We went to four different grocery stores to line up all the stuff that we needed. Evidently all that crap sitting at the front of her cabinet shelves is nowhere to be found in the average person’s kitchen. And if you don’t have a staff of twenty people setting your kitchen up then there’s no way in hell you can crank out the meals in less than a half hour.

I do admire her for the creative use of simple kitchen utensils to spice up a Maxim photo shoot. After all, it’s not everybody that can get me interested in a two dollar colander. But after that she drops way down on my list of hot chicks on cable. And give her credit for getting a ton of guys to get hot and bothered over boiling water.

Anyway, long story shortened up a bit, my weekend was shot to hell because of Rachel Ray. At least the food was good once we rested up enough to enjoy it.

Well maybe he’s not trying to date your daughter. But the odds are that there is some young testosterone laden member of the male species with his eye on your baby that looks like this. Or wishes that he had the money to do this to himself.

I’m not sure what’s the bigger disgrace to MANkind. The guy that would do this to his body or the guy that wishes he could. I don’t hold it against anyone who wants to put a design on their body permanently. I mean I’ve never seen anything that I want to still be on my person when I turn 80. If you have that’s cool with me. I know lots of veterans that will tell you that tattoo they got back in their service days did a lot to make them feel like one of the boys when they got it. They will also tell you that it caused them problems on more than one occasion over the years.

Anyone who has covered their body with as much ink has this nut has done has obviously lost control of their senses. He’s also cut his chances of merging into mainstream America to just above zero. While that is probably not very high on his list of things to do right now, some day it may very well be. Take a look at the men who run major companies. None of them look like this guy. They all understand that mutilation seldom leads to greater self-esteem. And you can bet that unless this character is the next Bill Gates none of them are going to hire him. That means that one day you and I will end up supporting his painted ass with our tax dollars.

If this guy or one of his admirers show up on the doorstep looking for your little girl don’t sweat it. Just invite him in, explain that you own a shotgun, a shovel and five acres of land. The smart ones will understand what you’re saying and leave quickly. Of course, nobody will ever miss the dumb ones.

Can you tell I’m having a tough time dealing with THE LOSER these days?  Of course he doesn’t have the balls on him to get any ink.  After all, his Mommy might not approve.  She damn sure would fund it if he asked though.