TC the Terrible

Ok, I know that I’m supposed to be working on a paper for class but I am also cooking ribs and needed to make a quick run to the grocery. THE WOMAN and I went to pick up the six or seven small things we needed to get thru today’s “festivities” and as we turned down the bakery aisle this is what greeted us.

Yep, dude was in a skirt. I have no idea what would possess a grown man to wear a skirt in public but I’m pretty sure that he’s not a drag queen. The full beard rules out that. He may have been on his way to a Medieval festival or doing it on a dare, not that I’m going to walk up and ask him. THE WOMAN is positive that he’s not gay because no gay man in his right mind would wear calf high white tube socks.

This is not what we expected when choosing to live in Northern Virginia. I can promise you that.

Labor Day morning and the ribs are already on the cooker. Life is good. Or it least is would be if my father-in-law were not here. He’s a pimple on the ass of humanity on his best day and his best day was about twenty years ago. His Bible-thumping mind set declared years ago that any alcoholic consumption is the work of the devil. Seeing how he won’t let go of that I’m forced to do these ribs in a completely sober state. No telling how they are going to turn out.

We caught the National Museum of American History yesterday for a few hours. The place was pretty well packed out since it will be the last chance to see the exhibits for a while. A big bummer though, because some sections were already shut down to prepare for the big re-build and retro-fit. If the new design comes off as planned it’s going to be a kick-ass place two years from now.

• Bad News item of the day is the death of Steve Irwin, crocodile hunter. I guess if you take enough risks that the odds catch up to you eventually. Taking a stinger to the heart from a manta ray is a sucky way to go. I hope his kids are able to recover.
• Who else in the room thinks that Tom Cruise is doing whatever it takes to become a star again instead of a joke? Nice of him to kiss and make up with Brooke, but I think it may be about a year too late.
• It’s a good day in the Global War on Terror. The number two terrorist in Iraq got nabbed our troops killed another couple of hundred in the ‘Stan. Not a bad way to start the week. Has anybody else noticed how the worker bee terrorists all die for the cause, while the ones at the top of the pyramid are caught and arrested? Or am I just looking for conspiracies where there are none?
• Be creative and artsy can mean you are a sexual god, or it could just be a sign that you are unhinged. You decide.
• Fat kids hate themselves. Hell, everybody knows that why spend millions of dollars on research? Of course fat adults hate themselves too, and that’s not really news anymore either. Let’s just all agree that fat people should be shot because of the drag they put on our economy and the general ugliness they bring. Then we can move on to more important things. Like a blog about the suburbs of Memphis.
• Don’t dumpster dive. You’ll end up spending six months behind bars. Of course the guys doing time will get free meals. Maybe it’s not that bad of a deal for them after all.

I’ve got ribs to turn and a paper to write. You guys enjoy the day off.

I need to put some ketchup on the words I wrote earlier today so they will taste better as I attempt to eat them.
In my last post (see below) I made a couple of digs at my friends Todd and Freakdaddy. As a matter of course I tend to fire shots across the bow of my friends from time to time. Normally I do this face to face and the joke is pretty easy to detect. This time I took a couple of shots in public, using electrons and the humor with which it was written didn’t come off of the page very well.
To Todd and Freak I apologize for the tone in which the statements appeared to be made. It was meant in fun and I would hope that you two guys would know that I would never intend to insult you two.