TC the Terrible NOW Saber Squelch

The world is a hard place to be. It’s harder if you’re stupid.

Browsing Posts published on 5 September, 2006

The first personal computer I ever used was a trusty Commodore 64, with a tape deck for a hard drive.  It was SOOO awesome!!  Did I mention that I used my color TV for the monitor?  Well I did.

Now it seems some uber-geek slash master criminal mind in Austria used one for most of his files.  The cops have  his machine (can we still call it that?) in custody but aren’t sure they can retrieve the files without corrupting them.  That is too damn funny.

Low-tech, retro criminals are coming back in vouge?  What’s next, another Austin Powers flick?

Express 9-5-06.jpg

I’ve been Expressed.  Again.  Either my writing is getting better, or I have a relative working at the Post that I didn’t know about.

Here’s the deal.  When a new oil field is found that could increase our current reserve supply by 50% and it is not enough to put a dent in our dependence on petroleum from the Middle East we have a bigger problem than even Al Gore can imagine.  And he’s the dweeb that dreamed up the Man-Bear-Pig scare out in Colorado.  So what do we do?

I say that we stage a hostile take over — of Iraq, Kuwait, and Saudi Arabia. 

That’s right, we waltz right in and just fucking take the oil.  Now we’ll have to do something to keep them from being totally pissed so we declare them the 51st, 52nd, and 53rd states.  I don’t care which order we take them in, because that’s just another set of dates for kids to learn in school.  Hell, for that matter we could combine them all into one new state and be done with it.  Then, when we bring in oil from them it’s not us importing oil anymore.  Now we are getting it from our new states.  Thus our dependence on imported oil goes way way down.

Look, it’s not like we are not occupying the region now.  This is simply expanding our grasp and making it legal.  In exchage we can give them our civil liberties and a better structure of laws and governance.  Granted the welfare rolls will explode, but with the dividend of cheap oil I think we can afford a few more liberals living off the government teat.

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