TC the Terrible NOW Saber Squelch

NEW GUY has decided that the office needs a college football pool each week.  Since he doesn’t want to play for real money we’ve agreed to go with $5 per week to get in.  I keep pushing for him to charge real money and keep out the riff raff, but so far it’s falling on deaf ears.  My picks are in bold.

1)        Texas-El Paso   versus   San Diego State

2)        South Carolina versus   Mississippi State

3)        Florida State        versus   Miami

4)        California                       versus   Tennessee

5)        Virginia Tech    versus   Northeastern

6)        Army                                    versus   Arkansas State 

7)        Memphis               versus   Mississippi

       Arkansas                      versus   Southern Cal

9)        Hawaii                           versus   Alabama

10)    Ohio State                         versus   Northern Illinois

11)    Navy                             versus   East Carolina

12) LSU                            versus   LA-Lafayette

The logic behind the schools that were picked is all kinds of fucked up and political. Let’s not get into that here and settle for the knowledge that this has been his mission in life today.

I guess getting mad and yelling at people is bad for you.  But so is keeping it all bottled up inside.  Next thing you know they declare drinking and driving to be an unsafe combination.  Thankfully nobody has ever done a study to determine the effects of mixing Jack Daniels and break fluid.

After moving the kids across hell’s half acre to get them in decent schools it turns out that 22% of Virginia schools aren’t worth a crap.  Hell for this we could have just home schooled the little mouth breathing booger eaters.  With all the talk of how great schools are out here you would have never suspected that so many were this bad. 

On a personal note, I’m a mass of pain today.  In the middle of the night with a cramp in my left calf that was so bad I considered rolling out of bed hard enough to bang my head into the dresser to knock me out and get rid of the pain.  It locked up a couple of times during my morning run and is still hurting.  Plus, I forgot to bring my glasses to the office when I finally got around to coming in (I fear I may finally be getting old) and now have a headache that feels like gorillas are using jackhammers in my head.  Lucky me.

It’s the middle of the week and the weird must be the color of the mood today.  After all I’ve got the morning off to take care of some bidnass and I decide to go for a quick two and a half mile run.  When I come in and start to get today’s talking points together I notice that I’ve been linked to some MySpace poser.  Further investigation reveals that it’s a 17 year old Asian girl in search of p.r.a.d.a. and a meaningful relationship.  This is going to be such bad karma in a later life.

• Memphis will turn into freak central again/still(?) when American Idol returns for another round of try outs.  Think the fat, gay, black, twin brothers will be back for more of the drama?
• I’ve been dumped via e-mail (she claimed I was a bad kisser), but never fired by e-mail.
• Will rain in North Carolina cause my basement to flood?  Probably.
• If a person wants to smoke why should we care what is in their favorite death stick?
• Until they cut Brunell, all of the other Redskin players being released won’t improve the overall team.
• Thank God that the only fantasies Kornheiser writes about are his NFL Fantasy League ones.

That’s it.  I need to wash the sweat off and get going.

Door malfunction my ass. 

Ten will get you one that the pilot that got locked out of his own cockpit while in flight is a royal jack-ass and this is just the crew’s way of fucking with him.

Maybe, just maybe, as good of an idea as it is to give principals a bonus for going to the really crappy schools in Maryland – the school board should hire people qualified to put kids on the right school bus.  How the hell could someone be too incompetent to know how to put a five year old on the right bus?  Thank God the kids’ parents love him enough to put an address and phone number on his backpack.  If I was that Dad I’d take the school principal out behind the gym and have a class on ass-kicking.

I’m amazed that the average commute in the National Capital Region is as quick as 33 minutes.  For some of us it is nearly double that when we use public transportation. So Freakdaddy, the next time you catch two red lights in a row out in Bumfuck, Arkansas keep your mouth shut. 

By now both of you in Mississippi with internet connections may have heard that you are fatties.  Damn near 30% of the adult population is obese there.  Maybe putting a scoop of lard in every dish you cook really is a bad thing after all.