TC the Terrible

Last night THE WOMAN and I got to go on a date. Yeah, scared the shit out of us too. We caught a double feature and had a blast. The best line of the night came from the flick “Inside Man”.

Dalton Russell (Clive Owen): Soon I’m gonna be sucking down pina coladas in a hot tub with six girls named Amber and Tiffany.
Keith Frazier (Denzel Washington): No, it’s more like in the shower with two guys named Jamal and Jesus.. and that thing you’re sucking on? It’s not a pina colada!

Followed closely by:

Keith Frazier (Denzel Washington): Last time someone pulled my Johnson that hard it cost me five dollars.
Captain John Darius (Wilem Dafoe): Five dollars?
Keith Frazier (Denzel Washington): I was in Tijuana. It’s a long story.

The movie is about a bank robbery that goes wrong, sort of. A good intellectual thriller that the kids will soon get bored with. I’d give it one thumb up and one sort of in the middle.

Stolen from the DCist article a year ago. With spring here and all of those quiant out of towners clogging our embattled but beloved Metro system it is time to run this again. With some of my own additions of course.

Here’s what I think needs to be added to the list.

Number 7. Restrain your children. They do not need to bounce around like the God-less heathens you have raised them to be. Apparently some of you think that children are allowed to behave like wild apes as long as they are not in their zip code of origin. Some mean people live here. Piss them off and they will squish your babies in front of your eyes.

Number 8. Know where you are going before you get on. We are not your tour guides and we are not in the mood to help your lost ass out.

Number 9. You are going to be touched while you are on the train. Over 700,000 people ride Metro everyday. There is no way to not touch each other. When you are on the Orange line between 4:00 and 8:00 in the afternoon you will understand why we call it the “Orange Crush”. The ugliest girl has a chance of getting felt up on the Orange Crush during peak hours. The bumps and touches are not personal either enjoy it or take a cab.

Number 10 Get out of the hell out of my way. You may be on vacation but the rest of us have places to be. Your fat ass standing by the doors of the train or at the end of an escalator can cause me to be late. I am more important than you are simply because I live here. If you don’t understand that, you don’t need to be here with the rest of your obese family on vacation.

I told you so, I told you so. Three days ago I told you that LaVar Arrington was going to the Giants. Now it’s official. And if you don’t think he has something to prove to the Redskins boy, are you going to get to see how wrong you are. This guy could have been a real killer on the field for Washington last year, but for some reason they simply refused to play him. Now they get to pay the price.

You have got to wonder how Mark Brunell feels this morning about playing for Joe Gibbs. Knowing that two weeks every season there is going to be a Giants linebacker out to use the QB’s rib cage to prove a point to a Hall of Fame Coach. Folks, this is not going to be pretty. Revenge never is.